square 1.

I was always told that "you should always hope high, because then the actual result would not be that low."

Well, I beg to differ now. Sometimes, I think I am a pretty perfectionistic person, hoping for the ideal attitude one should have, be it for myself but also for others. I think sometimes the more you request of yourself and others, and when things just don't go the way you want to, it really gets to me. Sometimes its pretty discouraging. And sometimes it just makes it seems like nothing will be enough and it is just not worth your effort trying to change things that you feel is imperfect/flawed.

But I think that we must constantly remind ourselves, that we are not strong because we deem ourselves to be, but really we are who we are because of God. I guess what I ask of myself whenever I do something is,

What is my intention?

I guess, if my intention is right, it should be in accordance to His teachings.

I think sometimes I get so caught up with so many things and I just need to get back to the basics, and only try to fit myself in my own criteria rather than others. Because honestly it is tired, telling people that some things are not for us to choose. If we choose and pick what is convenient for you to take up, then what difference is it from consumerism where you just take up roles that you don't mind and reject others you deem harder. I am still trying to grapple it. Its been tough, I have been praying. And today, I think I have made my conclusion when I was praying to Him. Its time to let go and let God. Something that I have forgotten, trying to take things into my hands and not remembering that He is in control of it all.

I guess, what I can do is to let them know of my stand. And if it still falls on deaf ears then its time to

let go and let God.

((:

Happy TWENTY-FIRST Birthday!!(:
To linwan, my best pal and luke, my hurr same-age-cousin-that-is-just-too-smart.

One year older, one year wiser.

Had cousins outing today! Well I must say that you guys are seriously a fun and fabulous bunch of pple((: We ate at Shokudo(yes, so similar to sudoku). Its the first time for me, I felt that it was really pretty cool a concept though the layout was simply messy. Well the food was good, the atmosphere was there and the service was brilliant(:

Then because the TWENTY-ONE year old wanted to ice-skate, we decided to head to KLP. The only thought in my mind was- dont fall down lijun, dont fall down. CONCENTRATE. rar It was really pretty tiring after awhile. But it was pretty fun, skating from a walking style to the gliding-noob advancement.

Last but not least we played bball and daytona! AND GUESS WHAT-I won daytona and the second round of bball.(: Yucks, sometimes I can't stand this competitiveness within myself):

Oh yes, just an update.
My sep application has been approved. Maybe I might really end up going there to learn independence and living in foreign land. Maybe this is what You have installed.
-I surrender all.
And to add on, I might be going for work and travel USA too, which is this coming summer break. Tmr is the interview, I really want to go, but I dont know whether I should go this year or the next. I just pray that You will continue to show me Your way.

Besides that, week one is over. And its been rather pleasant though being this hectic.(:

Thank You.

school is in.

Yes tomorrow starts the beginning of yet another semester.
It kinda feels different. A tinge of anxiety, fear of the module to be explored and to find out that it is going to be tough. Yet, an overwhelming sense of order to be instilled, just about soon.

I don't know if all these will take place. Everything is still an unknown. I do not know whether this is the place You want me to spend next semester in. I just pray that You will guide. Tell me this is the place You want me in, the place that You have always tried getting me closer to. In every step of the way, I just surrender all into Your hands.

For I know that
..." For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways," declares the Lord.

"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts."

-Isaiah 55:7-8